翻译:744 校对:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
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斯宾塞太可爱了 可谓是非常可爱了 Spencer is too adorable. Totally adorable.
吉尔 他现在多大了？ Jill, how old is he now?
- 他十四个月大 - 太可爱啦 -He's 1 4 months. -So cute.
他们长得很快 很奇妙 生下来后就长得飞快 They grow so fast, it's amazing. You have them and it's instant.
- 瞬间长大 - 看这颗小西兰花 -lt's instantaneous growth. -Look at this tiny little broccoli here.
这颗西兰花的块茎在哪里？ Where's the bottom of the broccoli?
有人能告诉我他们对西兰花块茎做了什么？ Can somebody tell me what they did to the bottom of the broccoli?
我喜欢块茎 口感爽脆 l like the bottom, it's crunchy.
- 是呀 - 讲真？ -Right. -Really?
要知道 看这颗西兰花 什么都没有 You know, look at this broccoli, there's nothing.
他们切掉了整个东西 没有茎部 They cut the whole thing off, there's no bottom.
在座的的各位 有谁吃菜花的？ ls there one person at this table who can eat cauliflower?
这是什么？谁把这留在世上 这种菜？ What is it? Who put this on earth, this vegetable?
拉里 杰里米有点事情要问你 Larry, Jeremy has something he wants to ask you.
- 他一直想问 - 这真没什么大不了的 -He's been wanting to ask. -lt's really no big deal.
事情是 你知道 我在申请助学项目 lt's, you know, l'm applying for a fellowship.
你想和我换眼镜 对不对？ You want to switch glasses with me, is that it?
我喜欢你像克拉克肯特那种眼镜 l like that whole Clark Kent thing you got happening there.
克拉克肯特(Clark Kent)：超人的真名
谢谢 你知道的 比较适合画廊 Thanks. lt works at the galleries, you know.
嗯 我在申请洛杉矶郡艺术博物馆的助学项目... So l'm applying for a fellowship at the LA County Museum of Art and....
是 我真的很兴奋 Yeah, l'm real excited.
但是我需要一封推荐信... But I need a letter of recommendation...
我得欠你一个天大的人情... and I would absolutely be indebted to you forever...
如果你可以为我写一封的话 if you could do it for me.
- 我会很感激你的 - 我喜欢欠人情那部分 相信我 -l would appreciate it so much. -l love the indebted part, believe me.
别误会了 Don't get me wrong.
你知道的 我不是很了解艺术 You know, I don't really know that much about art.
但是你了解杰里米 这才是关键 对么？ But you know about Jeremy. That's the point, right?
和他的作品 对么？ And his work, right?
- 只要说他是这个郡的财富 - 对 -Just that he'd be an asset to the county. -Absolutely.
这听起来挺容易的 That seems easy enough.
-是呀 - 是呀 -Yeah. -Yeah.
- 好吧 好吧 - 那简直太好了 -Sure, okay. -That'd be great.
- 对此非常感谢 好诶 - 敬拉里 -Thank you very much for it. Okay. -Here's to Larry.
也敬即将成功拿到的项目 好吧？ And to the fellowship that's gonna be, all right?
- 是呀 那是当然 - 敬湖人队 -Yes, absolutely. -And to the Lakers.
- 湖人队将开始进入赛季 - 那就对了 -The Lakers' season starting up tomorrow. -That's right.
你不是湖人队的球迷 对么？你是尼克斯队的球迷 You're not a Lakers fan are you? You're a Knicks fan.
- 我是尼克斯队的球迷 是呀 - 你换一桌坐吧 -l'm a Knicks fan, yeah. -Table for one.
但是我明晚要去 But l'm going tomorrow night.
我的经纪人有本赛季 座位紧靠湖人队长凳的票 My manager has season tickets right next to the Laker bench.
- 他拿到了最不可思议的座位 - 相当了不起 -He's got the most unbelievable seats. -Pretty amazing.
- 这太了不起啦 - 但是你是尼克斯队的球迷呀 -That's pretty amazing. -But you're a Knick fan.
我会为另一支球队加油的 我实在受不了湖人队 l'll root for the other team. l can't stand the Lakers, really.
- 不是吧 - 不 我受不了他们 -No. -No, I can't stand them.
能看到当他们输了比赛之后 l get so much satisfaction out of seeing...
有一万九千人失望 我就太满足了 我只是... 19,000 people disappointed when they lose, I just....
是呀 但他们很少败北 Right, when they lose, which is very seldom.
很少 我的意思是 他们有沙奎尔 Very seldom. I mean, they have Shaq.
有史以来最好的球员 没的说 Best player that ever lived. End of story.
- 我马上回来 - 和你说 我太爱吃香菜啦 -l'll be right back. -l am a sucker for cilantro, l'll tell you.
我需要抓紧鲍勃在洗手间的这点时间 l had I just need to seize this moment while Bob's in the bathroom.
但是 杰里米和拉里 为了鲍勃四十岁生日 But, Jeremy and Larry, for Bob's 40th birthday...
我想做的是给他... what I want to do is to give him...
一本每页都由一人完成的书 one of those books where each person does a page.
- 你们懂我意思吗？ - 你什么意思 一页？ -You know what I mean? -What do you mean, a page?
可以是你想到的任何东西 比如 你可以画些什么 lt could be anything you want. Like, if you would draw something.
你可以做一件艺术品 你可以写一段和鲍勃的往事... You could do an art piece, and you could write a recollection of Bob...
或者一首诗 亦或分享些什么 or a poem, or something you can share.
写得有趣点儿 那会很好 如果你可以让它有趣些 Make it funny, would be great, if you could make it funny.
- 很好 我很乐意这样做 - 谢谢你 他会喜欢的 -Great, I would love to do that. -Thank you, he would love that.
- 这是种荣幸 - 拉里 你愿意这样做吗？ -That'd be an honor. -Larry, would you like to do that?
- 一页？ - 那样会很好 -A page? -That would be nice.
我想说 我时间有限 l mean, I have a limited amount of time.
我要写他的推荐信 l've got his letter to write.
你知道 鲍勃的事情不花太多功夫 You know, Bob's thing doesn't have to be a big thing.
- 你可以做到的 宝贝 - 嗯 -You could do that, honey. -Yeah.
真的么？太好了 谢谢你 Really? Good, thank you.
谢谢你 这太棒了 鲍勃的生日在周六 Thank you, that'll be great. Bob's birthday is on Saturday.
所以 我大概会在周三去取 So, if I could pick it up around Wednesday.
有人想点个芝士蛋糕分着吃啥的吗 Does anybody want to split cheesecake or something?
- 我想要甜点 - 事实上 我们待不到上甜点了 -l'd love dessert. -Actually, we cannot stay for dessert.
什么？ What?
我的父母来城里了 我不想独留他们在家 My parents came into town, and I hate to leave them by themselves.
- 你们要去哪里？ - 我们要回家了 -Where are you guys going? -We're on our way back.
- 我的父母在城里 - 我看一下啊 你需要点... -My parents are in town. -Let's see, you want some....
你们想要我付一些这顿晚餐的钱吗？ You want some money for this dinner?
你们想要我付一些这顿晚餐的钱吗？ You want some money for the dinner?
我不知道 这要花多少？ l don't know, how much was this?
60美元 还是多少 我不知道 80美元？你吃了什么？ $60, or what, I don't know, $80? What did you have?
我的意思是 我只是吃了点火鸡肉 l mean, we just had some turkey.
我们吃了什么 火鸡肉和一杯酒？ What did we have, turkey and a glass of wine?
我甚至不知道应该放多少 我的意思是 我... l don't even know what to put down here. I mean, l'm....
90美元 这么样 可以么？90美元好么？ $90, how's that, is that good? ls $90 good?
110美元？ $110?
115美元 你吃了什么？ $115, what'd you have?
鸡 火鸡和一杯...我付了115美元 可以了吧？ Chicken and turkey and a glass... I got $115, is that cool?
- 好的吧 再见 朋友们 - 再见 谢丽儿 -All right, bye, you guys. -Bye, Cheryl.
谢谢你能来 Thanks for coming out.
- 拉里 你不打算说再见么？ - 嗯 我当然要说了...再见 -Larry, aren't you gonna say goodbye? -Yeah, of course l'm gonna say...goodbye.
- 好的 再见各位 - 我正要说再见 -All right, bye you guys. -l was gonna say goodbye.
- 安全驾驶 好么？ - 我留了115美元 -Drive safe, okay? -l left $1 15.
我出来吃晚饭 结果被留了一份家庭作业 l go out to dinner, I wind up with a homework assignment.
再见那是怎么回事？那真令人尴尬 What was all that goodbye business? That was really embarrassing.
我想提醒你去道别 l wanted to remind you to say goodbye.
我正要道别 我不是个傻瓜 我知道怎么去... l was gonna say goodbye, l'm not a moron. l know how to--
- 有的时候你就忘了 - 怎么会？ -Sometimes you don't. -What?
有的时候你忘了和人们道别 Sometimes you forget to say goodbye to people.
我忘了说再见？在我人生中从未忘记过 l forget to say goodbye? Never in my life have I forgotten.
是的 你忘记过 之后人们会认为你是刻意的 Yes, you have. Then people think that you're doing it intentionally.
这太可笑了 你知道这顿晚餐我付了多少钱？ That's ridiculous. You know how much I paid for that dinner?
我只是不停的在放钱 为什么没有人阻止我？ l just kept putting money down. Why didn't they stop me?
- 你为什么一直在掏钱？ - 因为他们不阻止我 -Why did you keep putting money down? -Because they didn't stop me.
- 谢谢你 - 你没必要放那么多 -Thank you. -You didn't have to put in that much.
我不停的说"这够了么？"80美元 90美元 l kept saying, ''ls that enough?'' $80, $90.
我希望我父母可以找到吃的东西 我甚至都没有想到那里 l hope my parents found something to eat. l didn't even think about that.
- 他们住多久？ - 他们会待到下个星期... -How long are they staying for, anyway? -They're staying till next week...
到我们去蒙特雷参加贝基的婚礼的时候 when we go to Monterey for Becky's wedding.
- 这个不行是因为... - 好的！ -lt doesn't work because that-- -Okay, all right!
- 我想他们是说正常情况吧 - 好吧 那我想要阿拉伯 -l think they mean normally. -Okay, but then I want Arabia.
我们已经说好了啊 We already settled that.
- 那不是一个国家 - 是一个国家 -lt's not a country. -lt is a country.
- 嗨 伙计们 - 嗨 -Hi, guys. -Hi.
- 阿拉伯是一个国家吗？ - 阿拉伯?不 是沙特阿拉伯 -ls Arabia a country? -Arabia? No, it's Saudi Arabia.
你不知道你到底在说什么... You don't know what the hell you're talking about...
"在别人领域充专家先生" ''Mr. Expert in somebody else's field.''
你们在玩什么 填字游戏？ What are you guys playing, Scattergories?
- 是的 - 我可以玩么？ -Yeah. -Can I play?
希望你不要介意 我搜到了你的游戏 Hope you don't mind, we raided your games.
- 不 我不介意 - 不 我们从来没玩过它 -No, I don't care. -No, we haven't played this--
和你的酒 And your liquor.
你想来玩一轮填字游戏吗？ You wanna play a quick round of Scattergories?
- 不 我要上楼了 - 好 谢谢你 地理队长 -No, l'm gonna go up. -Yeah, thank you, Captain Geography.
拉里 不说句晚安么？ Larry, don't you say goodnight?
晚安 对不起 Goodnight, sorry.
晚安 Goodnight.
好吧 "J" 五 走起！ Okay, ''J,'' five, go!
俄亥俄州 有个学院"O"开头 Ohio State, that's a college with an ''O.''
看在老天的份上 给我点时间 我也想玩 For heaven's sake. Give me time, I want to do it, too.
- 天呀! - 西方! -Gosh! -Occidental!
西方 Occidental.
亲爱的 请不要对我父母那样大喊大叫 Honey, please don't yell at my parents like that.
- 我没有大喊大叫 我在帮忙 - 天使 -l wasn't yelling, I was helping. -Angel.
- 但那又不是真的 - 那又怎样？他们在空中 -They're not real, though. -So what? They're in the sky.
你对她要的这页纸了解多少？ So what do you know about this page?
你知道这些纸是怎样的吗？得把它贴在什么上面吗？ Do you know anything about these pages? Do you paste it on something?
你知道什么？整件事情她说的非常模糊 What do you know? She's very vague about the whole thing.
应该写点什么？她想要首诗么？ What are you supposed to write on it? She wants a poem?
"有趣的事"她说 是有划线的纸吗？ ''Something funny,'' she said. ls it lined paper?
也许在页边处我应该弄点小花纹 Maybe l'll make little fancy edges on the end.
难道他们就没有那种专门可以剪出花哨边缘的剪刀吗？ Don't they have, like, special scissors to make those fancy edges on the end?
你还要用很久灯么？ Are you going to be using your light much longer?
我同时在想我的信... l've been working on my letter, too...
给郡博物馆 我的推荐信 to the county museum, my letter of recommendation.
你想听么？ Would you like to hear it?
"尊敬的洛杉矶郡博物馆 ''Dear LA County Museum.
"这信是为了推荐一个人名为..." ''This is a letter of recommendation for a guy named...
"一个叫做杰里米的家伙 一个有点熟的熟人 " ''a guy name Jeremy, who's somewhat of an acquaintance.
"并且他会画好看的同心圆... ''And he draws beautiful concentric circles...
"和几何图形 令人为之动容" ''and geometric figures that are quite moving.''
顺便提一句 我也会画那些三角形和圆形 By the way, I could make those triangles and those circles.
你说那是艺术吗？我是说 如果我都能画 还算艺术么？ You know, is that art? l mean, if I could do it, is that art?
- 晚安 - 晚安 -Goodnight. -Goodnight.
"尊敬的郡议会 ''Dear County Board.
"我写这封信是代表杰瑞米..." ''l'm writing on behalf of Jeremy....''
好的 Okay.
"我会找出他的姓 然后给你回信 " ''l'll find out his last name and write back to you.''
好的 Okay.
那么 你有没有弄过这种一页的礼物？ So, have you ever done one of these pages?
没有 这太傻了吧 No. lt's stupid.
你都和谁一起吃晚饭？ Who are you going to dinner with?
- 你都给自己招了什么事儿？- 那都是我们的朋友 -What situation did you put yourself in? -lt's all our friends.
听着 今晚我看不了湖人队的比赛了 Listen, I can't go to the Laker game tonight.
- 真的么？ - 真的 苏西要去纽约... -Really? -Yeah, Susie's gotta go to New York...
因为她的妈妈生病了 我要过去照看孩子 'cause her mom's sick, and I gotta watch the kid.
我的天哪 那你会怎么做？把票给谁？ My gosh, so what are you gonna do? Who's getting the ticket?
你为什么不把它交给路易斯？ Why don't you give it to Lewis?
- 是的 - 和他一起去 -Sure. -Go with him.
- 杰夫 你还好么？ - 呃 你怎么样？ -Jeffy, how are you? -Al, how are you doing?
很高兴见到你 你还好吗？ Good to see you, how are you?
很好 阿尔伯特梅奥 拉里大卫 拉里大卫 阿尔伯特梅奥 Good, Albert Mayo, Larry David, Larry David, Albert Mayo.
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you.
- 沙奎尔的经纪人 - 没开玩笑吧？ -Shaq's agent. -No kidding?
我今晚要去看比赛 l'm going to the game tonight.
- 此话当真？ - 我坐他的座位？ -Are you really? -l got his seats.
你会爱上...你是写《宋飞正传》那家伙 是吗？ You're going to love.... You're the Seinfeld guy, right?
- 是呀 - 沙奎尔喜欢你们的节目 -Yeah. -Shaq loves your show.
- 讲真？ - 是的 甚是喜欢 -Really? -Yeah, loves it.
我要走了 去大厅 享受比赛 玩得开心 l gotta run, I gotta get to the Center. Enjoy the game, have a good time.
- 很高兴见到你 - 你玩了吗？ -lt was great to meet you. -Did you play anything?
- 我赢了威金斯医生三百美元 - 干得漂亮 待会见 -Yeah, I won $300 off Doc Wiggins. -Beautiful, see you later.
- 再见 - 我今晚会见到你 -Bye-bye. -l'll see you tonight.
- 我们走吧 - 就帮我个忙 -Let's go. -Just one favor.
就看一下下我背上的东西 Just look at this thing on my back.
- 那是什么呀？ - 你觉得这是什么？ -What is that? -What do you think that is?
我不知道那是什么 你知道的 你应该去看医生 l don't know what that is. You know, you ought to go to a doctor.
- 当真？ - 是的 -Really? -Yeah.
你知道在那边的那个家伙么？ You know that guy right over there?
他是威金斯医生 他刚才说到的人就是他 That's Dr. Wiggins, that's who he was talking about.
他是湖人队的医生 你去问他 He's the Lakers' doctor, go ask him.
但是他是骨科医生 对么？ But he's an orthopedic, right?
他应该知道所有的东西 他可以看一下 然后说： They gotta know all the stuff. He can look at it and go:
"这是什么或者没事" ''That's something or nothing.''
如果他告诉你一切安好 你就没事 lf he tells you it's nothing to worry about, you're fine.
- 我去打会儿球 - 我们球场见 -l'm gonna go hit some balls. -l'll see you at the range.
威金斯医生么？ Dr. Wiggins?
- 你怎么样？ - 还好 -How you doing? -Good.
我很抱歉因此打扰您 l'm sorry to bother you with this.
我背上有个东西 我希望... l got a little thing on my back, and I was hoping...
你可以看一眼 省得我去专门看皮肤科医生了 you could save me a visit to a dermatologist.
不好意思 我有点迟了 l'm sorry, l'm running a little late.
这只需要几秒钟 很快看一下 lt'll only take a second, take quick look at it.
我确定不算什么 然后你只需要告诉我如果... l'm sure it's nothing, and you could just tell me if--
你可以预约一下 然后到办公室来 You can make an appointment and just come to the office.
- 我会很乐意在那里看病 - 我的意思是 这只用几秒钟 -l'll be happy to look at it there. -l mean, it would just take a second.
只需要说这有或者没事 或者 你知道的 Just say is it something or nothing, or, you know.
- 就像你看你手表一样 真的 - 做哪行的？ -lt's like looking at your watch, really. -What do you do for a living?
- 我是一个作家 - 下次你很忙的时候... -l'm a writer. -Next time you're in a big hurry...
为什么你不给我写一堆免费的玩意？ why don't you write me a bunch of shit for free?
他需要做的就是看一下 这会杀了他么？ All he had to do was take a look at it. Would it have killed him?
- 那个医生？ - 是的 那个医生 -The doctor? -Yeah, the doctor.
- 有什么难的？ - 行了 哥们 -What's the big deal? -Come on, man.
他在更衣室 He's in the locker room.
他只需要快速的看一下 就耽误五秒钟 All he's gotta do is take one quick look, take five seconds.
你还好么？ How you doing?
兄弟 我的意思是 他只是想像你一样试着放松 Man, I mean, the guy's trying to relax like you.
你需要给他一点空间 You gotta give the guy space.
- 看那边 - 你今天怎么样？ -Look at this. -How are you doing today?
- 还不错 - 让我给你指一下座位 -Good. -Let me show you to your seats.
-这是他的座位 这个是你的 - 这两个 就这里？ -This'll be his and this'll be yours. -These two, right here?
加油 享受比赛 Come on, enjoy the game.
- 我的天呀 - 看看这 多棒呀？ -My God. -Look at this, how great is this?
- 天哪 -很棒是不是？这是有多好？ -Holy cow. -Great, right? How great is this?
- 这令人难以置信？ - 这令人难以置信 -ls this fucking unbelievable? -This is unbelievable.
我们有一个很棒的经纪人 我还能说什么？ This is, you know, we have a great manager. What can I tell you?
先生们 女士们 你们的洛杉矶湖人队 Ladies and gentlemen, your Los Angeles Lakers.
你的座位全场最佳 你知道么？ You've got the best seat in the house, you know that?
讲真 替补席就在这里 看看这个 You do. The bench is right over here, look at this.
你知道么？我可以听见杰克森说的每一句话 You know, I can hear everything Jackson's saying?
我会告诉你他说了什么 l'll tell you what he said.
沙奎尔奥尼尔 Shaquille O'Neal.
安东尼皮勒 两分 Anthony Peeler, two shots.
他在干什么？为什么不让沙奎尔返场？ What's he doing? Why doesn't he put Shaq back in the game?
- 太荒谬了 - 谁 杰克森教练吗？ -lt's ridiculous. -Who, Coach Jackson?
嗯 他有八个冠军戒指 不过我会去问问他为啥不听拉里的 Yeah, l'll ask him, with his eight rings, that Larry David's upset.
他已经离场五分钟了 He's been out of the game for five minutes.
也许他状态不好 或许 你知道 他累了 Maybe he's upset. Maybe, you know, he's tired.
天呀 My God.
白痴 你干了什么？ ldiot, what did you do?
- 天呀 我太.... - 你干了什么？ -God, l'm so.... -What did you do?
- 你还好么？对不起 - 给我们腾点地方 往后退 -Are you okay? l'm so sorry. -Here, give us some room here, stand back.
放轻松 哪里疼？ Take it easy. Where is it?
- 膝盖那里 - 你的膝盖？ -My knee. -Your knee?
- 我的膝盖 - 好 放松 -My knee. -Okay, easy.
看看这阵仗 Look at this shit.
这又不是企图暗杀 天啊 lt's not an assassination attempt, for Christ's sake.
- 腿能伸直么 沙奎尔？ - 不能 -Can you straighten it, Shaq? -No.
- 可以使上劲么？ - 拉里 怎么回事？ -Can you put any weight on it? -Larry, how did that happen?
我不知道 我伸直了双腿 我很抱歉 l don't know, I stuck my legs out. l'm so sorry.
我们把他扶起来 我抓住腿 把他扶起来 把他扶起来 Let's get him up, l'll hold the leg, get him up. Get him up.
- 我很抱歉 - 你现在可以使上力气么？ -l'm so sorry. -Can you put any weight on it?
不行 No.
这是意外 lt was an accident.
- 快坐下 - 那是个意外！ -Just sit down. -lt was an accident!
这是一场噩梦 This is a nightmare.
我觉得我们该离开这里 我现在很不舒服 l think we should get going. l'm very uncomfortable.
- 我他妈要离开这里 - 我们离开这里 走吧 -l'm fucking out of here. -Let's get out of here, come on.
走吧 Just go.
走 从这里出去 快走 快点 Go. Get out of here, go ahead, hurry up.
那是个意外 lt was an accident.
- 快走吧 - 这是个意外 -Take a hike. -lt was an accident.
嗯 不是 相信我朱莉 我看见了 我看见他在新闻上 Yeah, no, believe me, Julie, I saw it. l saw him on the news.
我目睹了全过程 他刚刚回家 l saw the whole thing, and he just walked in.
我现在不能说了 我一会儿和你讲 好么 l can't talk right now. l'll talk to you later. Okay.
- 我的天！ - 什么新闻？你在新闻里看见我了？ -My God! -What news? You saw me on the news?
- 是 我当然看见了 - 我？ -Yeah, of course I did. -Me?
他们说你绊倒了沙奎尔奥尼尔 现在他两个月不能上场 They said you tripped Shaquille O'Neal, now he'll be out for two months.
你是说我绊倒了他？他们说是拉里大卫？ You mean I tripped him? They said Larry David?
他们给了你一个特写 他们还弄了慢动作 They have a close-up of you. They have it in slow motion.
他们写的"拉里大卫让沙奎尔奥尼尔出局" They have, ''Larry David took out Shaquille O'Neal.''
两个月他不能上场 For two months he's gonna be out.
然后电话没停过 And the phone will not stop ringing.
你可以把电话放到隔壁房间... Could you please take this to the next room...
这样我们就可以好好看电视了？ so that we can just watch our show?
看吧 我们明天给您回电 Look, can we call you back tomorrow?
- 这真是太忙乱了 - 两个月？ -lt's just so hectic. -Two months?
他两个月不能上场？ He's gonna be out two months?
是 两个月 然而并不只是这些... Yeah, two months. And not only that...
一个报道人员认为... one of the reporters thinks that...
你有动机 因为你是尼克斯的粉丝 you had a motive, because you're a Knicks fan.
是呀 我确实有动机 我想杀了他 我有动机 Yeah, I did have a motive. l wanted to kill him, I had a motive.
你能把它拿到外面去吗？稍微替别人考虑一下好吗？ Can you take it outside, please? How about a little consideration, okay?
- 对不起 - 哦 我的天呀 -Sorry. -Oh, my God.
我的父母试图在看他们的剧 My parents are trying to watch their show.
你说晚安了么？ Don't you say goodnight?
混蛋！ Asshole!
嗯 是你 这都是你的错! Yeah, you, it's all your fault!
是呀 混蛋！ Yeah, asshole!
什么情况？ What the fuck?
那是意外 lt was an accident.
我只是伸直了腿 然后他绊倒了 l was just stretching my legs out and he tripped.
他们收走了我的票 湖人队拿走了我的票 They took away my tickets. The Lakers took away my tickets.
- 对 - 他们不能这样做 -Yeah. -They can't do that.
不 他们可以 写在票的背面的 Sure they can, it's on the back of the ticket.
谁坐在我的位子上我都要负责 l'm responsible for whoever sits in my seat.
你伸腿干嘛？为啥啊？你坐在第一排啊 What were you stretching for? What reason? You're in the first row.
- 你怎么可能需要伸展？ - 我就伸个腿嘛 -How could you need to stretch? -l just stuck my legs out.
天啊 你知道我为拿到票有多辛苦吗？ Holy shit, you know how hard I worked for those?
一场比赛 第一场比赛 然后你搞砸了全部！ One game, the first game, and you fuck the whole thing up!
抱歉 Sorry.
祝你一天顺利 Have a great day.
- 操！ - 我很抱歉 -Fuck! -l'm sorry.
- 我能做什么？我能做点什么吗？ - 买下整支球队 -What can I do? Can I do anything? -Buy the team.
这也许有点帮助 That would be a help.
- 嗨 查克 - 拉里 你怎么样？ -Hey, Chuck. -Larry, how are you doing?
- 还好 - 昨晚的比赛发生了什么？ -Okay. -What happened at the game last night?
我想说 沙奎尔正要上场... l mean, Shaq is coming off the bench...
你把腿伸直了 他就绊倒了 you got your legs stretched out, l mean, the guy just trips.
- 这是个意外 - 我知道 你得小心点儿啊 -lt was an accident. -l know, you got to be careful.
你坐在那里 你知道的 你看见运动员走过来 You're sitting there, you know, you see a player coming...
山一样的大家伙 it's a big mountain of a guy.
- 你应该能看见他的 - 我知道 我知道 -You got to be able to see him. -l know, I know.
那是蠢事 那是意外 lt was a stupid thing, it was an accident.
是 我懂 但我说啊 没有沙奎尔 我们不可能赢 你知道么？ Yeah, I know. But, I mean, without Shaq, we can't win this, you know?
我还能说的多清楚？不予置评 How much more clear can I be? No comment.
好的 谢谢您 All right, thank you.
你有很多的留言... You've got a boatload of messages...
电话不响的时候 就是有传真到了 and when the phone wasn't ringing, faxes were coming in.
我想试着去联系一下沙奎尔奥尼尔 好么？ l want to try to get in touch with Shaquille O'Neal, okay?
所以 去找一下他在哪里 他应该在住院 So find out where he is. He might be in a hospital.
我不清楚 但是.... l don't know. But....
忘了吧 接都不要接 Forget it, don't even answer it.
我刚好听说他是《宋飞正传》的粉丝 l also heard that he's a big Seinfeld fan.
我要去拿一些带子 如果可以的话 l want to get Seinfeld tapes, if you can.
全套《宋飞正传》 每一集 All the Seinfeld shows, every one.
然后 我不知道... And I don't know....
你有没有做过生日书中的贺词页？ Have you ever done a page in a birthday book?
是的 所有的杂志节目都在打电话 他们会做一个跨页报道 Yeah, all the magazine shows are calling. They're gonna do a spread.
- 我现在回家 - 不说个再见？ -l'm going home. -No goodbye?
天呀！ Jesus!
哦 天 Oh, man.
不要把它放在中间 我得把这个放在这里 Don't leave that in the middle. l gotta put this in here.
把它放在任何你想放的地方 对于我来说没问题 Put it wherever you want to put it. lt's fine with me.
- 发生了什么？ - 我们要离开了 -What's going on? -We're leaving.
- 你们什么？ - 我们要走 -You're what? -We're leaving.
- 对于我们来说这太忙了 - 对我们来说骚乱太多 -lt's a little too busy around here for us. -Too much commotion for us.
- 真的么 你们要走？ - 我们留你自己应付乱子吧 -Really, you're going? -We'll leave you with your chaos.
好家伙 Holy mackerel.
妈妈 我希望你们别这么早离开 我想说... Mom, I wish you guys wouldn't leave so soon. I mean....
- 是时候了 亲爱的 - 再会 -lt's time, honey. -Goodbye.
爸爸 你不想多待的一会儿么？ Dad, don't you want to stay a little bit longer?
好的 我的意思是 如果你们回心转意 可以回来 All right, I mean, if you reconsider, you can come back.
- 祝你接电话好运 - 遗憾 太遗憾了 -Good luck with your telephone. -That's sad, it's sad.
不说个再见么？ Don't you say goodbye?
- 他们走的很急 - 这有点没礼貌 你知道吗？ -They were in a hurry. -lt's a little rude, you know?
喔！天 Wow! Boy.
- 对他们来说太动荡了 是吗？ - 是啊 -Too much turmoil for them, huh? -Yeah.
拉里！我很高兴到你家找到你了 Larry! l'm so glad I caught you at home.
我很高兴 l'm so glad.
我不知道你是否已经开始写鲍勃的生日书的贺词页 l don't know if you got started on that page for Bob's birthday book.
你知道为什么吗？因为我不准备写 You know why? 'Cause l'm not gonna do it.
我只是觉得是过于庞大... l just decided it was too overwhelming...
并且我觉得 给他点古龙水 and I thought, get him some cologne.
你知道么 我一直在想这件事 你知道吗？ l've been giving this thing some thought, you know?
- 我很抱歉 我觉得... -我想好要画一个篮球... -l'm sorry, I feel... -l was gonna do a basketball with....
伪造一些湖人队的签名... l was going to forge some of the Lakers' signatures on it....
当真？好吧 Really? Well--
是的 然后打算写点... Yeah, and then I was gonna write a couple of...
我们一起吃过两次晚饭的回忆.... my memories from the two times we had dinner together....
我感觉很糟 我看得出来你很操心 l feel so bad. I can see that you're upset.
我弄了一个写着"我爱你 鲍勃"美丽的彩虹然后... l had a beautiful rainbow with ''l love you, Bob,'' and....
真的么 这棒极了 Really, that's wonderful.
而且我相信 在将来你可以用得到它的 And l'm sure there's some kind of thing you can develop with it at some point.
其他的熟人都怎么看呢 还好吗？ How did the other acquaintances take it, okay?
- 你知道 他们都不介意 - 是么？很好 -You know, they were fine. -Yeah? Good.
他们表示没有问题 你知道吗？ 谢谢 They were just fine with it, you know? Thanks.
- 那是吉尔么? - 是的 她... -ls that Jill? -Yeah, she...
取消了生日书里的贺词页 canceled the page in the birthday book.
显而易见 没有人想要跟我有什么关系... Nobody wants to have, apparently, anything to do with me...
因为沙奎尔奥尼尔 because of Shaquille O'Neal.
- 那有点难过 - 难过？你疯了吗？ -That's kind of sad. -Sad? What are you, crazy?
我要去星巴克买点咖啡 l'm gonna go to Starbucks and get some coffee.
星巴克？等一下 我和你一起去 Starbucks? Wait, l'll go with you.
不 我只是想离开这个家 No, I just want to get out of the house.
不 No.
阿多拉 如果有人要找我 我去星巴克了！ Adora, if anybody wants me, l'm going to Starbucks!
我点一杯摩卡 l'll take a mocha.
然后我要一杯香草... And l'll have a vanilla....
一个有香草的东西就行 One of the vanilla bullshit things.
你懂 做你想做的 You know, do whatever you want.
随便香草 拿铁 卡布什么的 无论做出什么 我不在乎 Some vanilla bullshit, latte cappa-thing. Whatever you got, I don't care.
这就来 You got it.
什么？有什么问题么？ What? What's the problem?
- 我不是很喜欢这... - 什么？ -l don't really like this.... -What?
- 这个崭新的拉里？ - 怎么了？ -This new Larry. -What's the matter?
太热情了 我怀念过去的拉里 Just too enthusiastic, and I miss the old Larry.
- 是吗？ - 是啊 杰里米在那儿 -Do you? -Yeah. There's Jeremy.
拉里 我很高兴见到你 管家说你会在这里 Larry, l'm glad I caught up to you. Housekeeper said you'd be down here.
我想快快的和你说两句 l want to talk to you real quick.
- 让我来猜猜 - 行 -Let me take a guess. -All right.
- 好吧 我能猜猜么 - 好呀 当然可以 -All right, can I take a guess? -Yeah, sure.
你不想让我来写这封推荐信了 You don't want me to write the letter of recommendation.
- 哇！是啊 - 天哪 真是... -Wow! Yeah. -Holy, what a--
- 心里一块石头落地了 我要告诉你 - 然而 这是个遗憾 -That's a load off my mind, l'll tell you. -lt's a shame, though.
因为我真的写了一些关于赞美你工作的言辞... 'Cause I wrote some really laudatory things about your work...
和几何图形... with the geometric shapes...
三角形和梯形以及所有这些 the triangles and the trapezoids and all of that.
有比这还多的东西 There's a little more to it than that--
我不知道 但它们是非常引人注目的图画... l don't know, but they're very compelling figures...
- 那些三角形 正方形和... - 谢谢 -the triangle and the square and.... -Thank you.
你照顾好你自己 以后还有机会 You take care of yourself. Maybe some other time.
我可以提供任何你需要的帮助 l'm available for any kind of favor that you need.
好的 十分感谢 再见了 Okay, thanks a lot, bye-bye, now.
咖啡我包了！先生们 女士们... Coffee on me! Ladies and gentlemen...
咖啡 甜甜圈 丹麦面包 贝果通通免费 free coffee and donuts and Danish and bagels.
任何你想要的 我付钱 大家都来吧 Anything you want. On me, I got it, everybody, come on.
快站起来 喝点咖啡 来吧 吃得开心 Come on up, get some coffee. That's right, go ahead, enjoy yourself.
对 就是这样 不要害羞 非常感谢你 谢谢你 Thataway, that's it, don't be shy. Thank you very much, thank you.
来吧朋友们 我包场 Come on, people, everything on me.
这真是太棒了 顺便提一句 谢谢你 This is very good, by the way, thank you.
这是拿铁咖啡么？这是什么 牛奶么？ lt's a cafe latte? What is that, milk?
- 牛奶和咖啡？ - 是 牛奶和咖啡 -Milk and coffee? -Milk and coffee, yeah.
牛奶和咖啡 谁会想到？ Milk and coffee, who would've thought?
- 牛奶和咖啡 - 如果可以 我们就走了吧 -Milk and coffee. -We can go now if you want.
- 天哪 多棒的一杯！ - 我想走了 -My God, what a drink! -l want to take off.
- 这就是把牛奶和咖啡搅拌在一起 - 我们走吧 -lt's milk and coffee mixed together. -Let's do that.
我们必须去那里 坐下 吃甜甜圈 吃百吉饼 We've gotta go there, sit down, have a donut, have a bagel.
- 沙奎尔住在这层么？ - 在大厅下面 -ls Shaquille O'Neal on this floor? -Down the hall.
太感谢你啦 谢谢 Thank you very much, thank you.
呼叫本德尔医生 呼叫本德尔医生 Paging Dr. Bender. Paging Dr. Bender.
对不起 你是医生吗？ Excuse me, are you a doctor?
- 是呀 我是医生 - 能帮我个忙么？ -Yes, l'm a doctor. -Could you do me a favor?
你介不介意快快的看一下我背上这个东西吗？ Would you mind taking a quick glance at this thing on my back?
告诉我 如果这是我应该担心的任何事情 Tell me if it's anything that I should be concerned about.
- 当然 转过去 - 就在这里 -Sure, turn around. -Right over here.
- 你看到了... - 这是光化性角化病 -Do you see that over.... -This is a solar keratosis.
- 那是什么？ - 它是良性的 由日晒造成 -What is that? -lt's benign, it's from the sun.
- 真的么？ - 我不会担心它的 没什么 -Really? -l wouldn't worry about it. lt's nothing.
- 我的天呀 谢谢你 - 当然 -My God, thank you. -Sure.
你这样做真的太好了 That was so nice of you to do that.
应该有更多的医生像你一样 More doctors should be like you.
- 别晒太阳 - 好的 感谢 医生 -Stay out of the sun. -Okay, thanks, Doc.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
我拿这些录像带要送给沙奎尔奥尼尔 可以吗？ l've got these tapes l'd like to give to Shaquille O'Neal. ls that possible?
放在那里就好 我们保证他能收到 Just leave them there. We'll make sure he gets them.
- 真的么？太谢谢你了 - 嗨 拉里 -Really? Thank you very much. -Hey, Larry.
- 嗨 阿尔伯特 - 你在这里干什么？ -Hey, Albert. -What are you doing here?
我只是把这些《宋飞正传》录像带给沙奎尔 l just was gonna give these Seinfeld tapes to Shaq.
你人真好 That's really nice of you.
很高兴你来这里道歉 Nice of you to come down here to apologize.
- 这太...他会接受这个 - 我实际上只是来这里把它们放下 -That's very.... He'll appreciate it. -l was actually just coming to drop them off.
- 我甚至不敢... - 我正准备进去 -l wouldn't dare even.... -l'm going in there now.
我会带你一起去 跟上 l'll take you in there with me, come on.
- 说真的？ - 嗯 -Really? -Yeah.
- 咋了 你觉得他会伤害你吗？ - 是的 -What, you think he's gonna hurt you? -Yeah, I do.
我确定他会接受你的道歉 l'm sure he'd appreciate an apology.
- 那是个意外 - 我会道歉 -lt was an accident. -l'll apologize.
你能做什么？事情已经发生了 What can you do? Things happen.
这是一个很棒的礼物 他两个月后会上场 That's a great present. He'll be on his back for two months.
- 你认为他会喜欢这个？ - 他喜欢这个 这是他最喜欢的剧 -You think he'll like it? -He loves it, it's his favorite show.
- 太棒了 - 所以现在事态如何？ -Great. -So how things been going?
- 再好不过了 - 好 -Never been better. -Good.
- 你想出来什么了 大家伙？ - 花生黄油酱 -What do you got, big guy? -Peanut butter.
-不 -含奶制品 花生黄油酱 你什么意思 不是？ -No. -Dairy product, peanut butter. What you mean, no?
- 花生黄油酱不是奶制品 - 那不是奶制品 -Peanut butter is not a dairy product. -lt's not dairy.
全世界都知道花生"黄油"酱是乳制品 The whole world knows peanut butter is a dairy product.
-你在说什么？ -沙奎尔 奶制品源自奶牛 -What are you saying? -Shaq, dairy is from a cow.
- 花生不是奶制品 - 花生黄油酱 哞 -Peanuts are not a dairy product. -Peanut butter, moo.
好吧 花生来自大地或者别的 Okay, peanuts come from the ground or something.
- 阿尔伯特 你怎么样？ - 看看我发现谁在大厅里游荡 -Albert, how you doing? -Look who I found wandering the halls.
拉里大卫 沙奎尔奥尼尔 他有一些话想对你说 Larry David, Shaquille O'Neal. He's got something he wants to say to you.
我很抱歉... l'm so sorry...
关于事故 我都不知道这件事是怎么发生的 about the incident, and I don't know how that could've happened.
我正在伸腿 我之前从来没有坐在那里过 我很抱歉 l was stretching. l never sat there before. l'm sorry.
这有用吗？''抱歉''？ ls that supposed to help? ''Sorry''?
我不知道该做些什么 来弥补你 l don't know what to do to make it up to you.
我给你带了《宋飞正传》录像带 l brought you these Seinfeld tapes.
阿尔伯特告诉我你是影迷 Albert told me you were a big fan.
- 我是 - 我把每一集的所有带子都拿过来了 -l am. -l got you all the tapes of every episode.
你有每一集的录像带？ You have every tape of every show?
- 听着... - 填字游戏 -Listen.... -Scattergories.
奶制品 花生黄油酱... Dairy products. Peanut butter...
会被认为是乳制品 我说的对么？ would be considered a dairy product, am I correct?
- 完全正确 黄油 - 谢谢你 -Absolutely, butter. -Thank you.
- 一个脑子没问题的人 - 不是的 -A man that has some sense. -No.
好吧 听着 我有 ''吊坠 保时捷 大力水手... Okay, listen, l've got ''Pendant, Porsche, Popeye...
都是P开头的单词
"帕果帕果和普罗沃龙" ''Pago Pago, and Provolone.''
- 医生大获全胜啊 - 我要去上个洗手间 一会儿回来 -Doc's killing us. -l'm gonna go to the can, l'll be right back.
- 告诉过你他很聪明 比分是多少？ - 好的 现在他有26分 -Told you he was smart. What's the score? -All right, now he has 26.
- 然后我呢？ - 你有25分 -And what do I have? -You have 25.
- 你得了几分？ - 我得了25分 -And what do you got? -l have 25.
顺便说一下 医生是不是... By the way, didn't the doctor...
提到"P"开头的五个物品？ mention five items for ''P''?
是呀 Yeah.
在单子上没有"帕果帕果"和"普罗沃龙" There's no ''Pago Pago'' and ''provolone'' on this list...
你可以看看这个 if you just want to check it out.
- 哦 我的天呀 - 医生在填字游戏中作弊了？ -Oh, my God. -The doc is cheating at Scattergories?
他明显是时间到了之后现编的 He was obviously making it up after the time ran out.
- 他为什么要在填字游戏上作弊？ - 一个医生 -Why would you cheat at Scattergories? -A doctor.
- 你想再玩一把吗？ - 医生 -You want to play another game? -Doc.
- 你怎么可以在填字游戏里作弊呢？ - 你们在说什么？ -How can you cheat at Scattergories? -What are you talking about?
你什么意思？你给了我们五个名字 这里只有三个 What do you mean? You gave us five names. There's only three here.
听着 医生 你猜啥？我感到恶心 受够你了 Listen, Doc, you know what? l'm sick and tired of you.
- 你被炒了 滚出去 - 我才没有作弊 -You're fired, get out. -l didn't cheat at anything.
让这个家伙出去 你被炒了 Get this guy out of here, you're fired.
- 我赢了 沙奎尔 - 滚出去 -l won, Shaq. -Get out.
- 阿尔 拜托 - 我和你说了 滚出去 -Al, come on. -l told you to get out.
- 让他滚出去 - 计时器出问题了 -Get his ass out of here. -The timer ran out.
- 计时器没有问题 你作弊了 - 是计时器 -The timer didn't run out, you cheated. -lt's the timer.
- 不 不是计时器的问题 滚出去 - 我正要把它写下来呢 -No, it's not the timer, get out. -l was gonna write it down.
- 你快点离开这里 滚出去 - 你听到了 滚出去！ -Get your ass out of here, get out. -You heard him. Get out!
你得走了 You gotta go.
你不说句再见么？ Don't you say goodbye?
注意到再也没有人说再见了吗？ Notice how no one ever says goodbye anymore?
- 你有没有注意到？简直不可思议 - 嗯 -Have you noticed that? lt's unbelievable. -Yeah.
为什么人们不能在离开房间时有点礼貌？ Why can't people leave a room and be a little polite?
好吧 我最喜欢《宋飞正传》的一集是《比赛》 Okay, my favorite Seinfeld episode was The Contest.
《比赛》？我明白了 你想看《比赛》？ The Contest? l got it, you want The Contest?
如果你放了《比赛》这集 我会既往不咎的... lf you pop in The Contest, l'll let bygones be bygones...
然后我会忘记你曾绊倒我 and I forgot that you tripped me.
花生黄油酱是一种奶制品 Peanut butter is a dairy product.
- 沙奎尔吗？ - 怎么？ -Shaq? -Yes?
有点奇怪 我偶然又看了你的档案... Kind of an odd thing. I had a chance to go back and look at your file...
我不清楚情况 但似乎威金斯医生误读了核磁共振结果 and I don't know how this happened, but it seems Dr. Wiggins misread the MRl.
他的初步诊断是四头肌肌腱完全撕裂 His initial diagnosis of the complete tear of the quadriceps tendon...
实际最多就是部分撕裂 it's a partial tear at best.
如果你坐一个星期 你会恢复的 lf you sit down for maybe a week, you'll be back to full strength.
- 这太棒了！ - 一周么？简直不能相信 -That's great! -One week? I can't believe it!
我孤身一人 I was alone.
打扰一下 我很抱歉 Excuse me, l'm sorry.
- 你可以载我一程么？ - 医生呀 -Could you give me a ride? -The doctor.
- 是 来自楼上的 - 好的 -Yes, from upstairs. -Yeah.
- 是呀 你背上怎么样了？ - 好的 巴里 来吧 我们走 -Yes, how's your back? -Okay, Barry, come on, let's go.
- 什么... - 别晒太阳 -What.... -Stay out of the sun.
- 他不是医生么？ - 六楼 精神科 -He's not a doctor? -Sixth floor, Psychiatric.
翻译:744 校对:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net